New Dork Rhymes
FLUMPTY KIDNAPS PERSON BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT
MAN DRINKES LAVA AND LIVES (KINDA)
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: RUNNING OUT OF TOILET PAPER
YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING THE CAMERAS |
BEATING AN EGG
Kidnapped person wins Flumpty Bumpty’s game!
After countless citizens of New Dork have been abducted by the mysterious Flumpty Bumpty to play his “survival hide-and-seek” game, one has bested Flumpty and earned the privilege of becoming Flumpty’s new best friend.
Allegedly, Flumpty has constructed a skinless many-headed monster out of the corpses of his game’s unfortunate past contestants.
Thorax-infested fever dream akin to the left cerebellum of a happy-go-lucky printing unit smokes pot like a dingo dog in a trailer park. Welfare in the stone age was less than a ribonucleic rice cake but more than tennis. Entry to the mouth zone is forbidden to everyone except explosive tongues.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to swallow a human baby? I mean, an entire baby, all at once. It’s totally doable if you have a big enough mouth. Would the baby die from suffocation or stomach acid first? A live baby would probably be pretty brutal to the intestines.
It is written in some nondescript ancient scroll that Flumpty once presented a heartfelt speech about the importance of life and then promptly shot a passing stranger in the face. The stranger did not survive.
Flumpty once broke into a man’s house because he was cooking an egg. Flumpty was voluntarily arrested for breaking and entering just so he could escape prison.
Yesterday, Flumpty killed approximately 100 billion birds with one stone. That stone was a meteorite, and yesterday was the apocalypse.
Jonochrome here. I’m very thankful for the response One Night at Flumpty’s received, and without the support of the Five Nights at Freddy’s community, I would never have made a sequel. While I don’t want to linger on making FNAF fan games, I’ve had a lot of fun with these projects! It’s been a great learning experience and I’ve met some really wonderful people. Scott Cawthon, thank you for being such a huge inspiration to me and so many others. Best wishes to you, sir. |